Going under

There's so much pain right now. Heart hurt. Mentally tortured. I wanna say hye to my new life but i dont have enuf strength to say goodbye to my past. O my..I hate myself for being this weak when i know i m of high quality to be strong and face it..T_T *nangis nangis nangis * Hanan.. Behold. You have Allah by ur side~

My bracelet watch keep spinning around my wrist.Thighs reconcile. No more threatening each other. Noted, it's nearly impossible to demolish my drumstick but its happen to right now. I'm losing kilos. Its frightened me out ='( Aneroxia bulimia nervosa kah

Puzzled much, hello my gi system, are you still there? If so,why did i vomit whenever i eat?Why cant u tolerate food? I wanna be healthy. Please. Healthiness is something that i really treasure. I want to take care of me. So i force myself to eat though i have zero appetite. But, suddenly i throw up. Letih btol *Nangis lagi* Pijah cakap "Nea, takkan nak on TPN??" Huwaaa...

Even I'm not a real foodie, still, i love to eat. I dont usually skip meal except when i m full. Not only that, when i m stress,i tend to eat a lot. Like alot alot! So, i have no idea that i will be like this when in grief, despair and heartbroken..-_-"

I may look skinny but my BMI is normal. *sebab pendek* Selalu cakap kat kawan yang cakap saya kurus  "Aku berat tulang la" because they rejected the fact that my weight is 50++kg. My average weight would always be plus minus 50kilos. Unbelievable? Huh. Everyone does. Sume cakap sy patut lagi kurus or lagi ringan in terms of kilos aside from my figure.

To date, its 47 now and i dont want to lose weight anymore. Nanti jadi skeleton bergerak T_T 

Nasib baik muka jenis bulat. Kalau tak, tak tau lah..=(

K bai. Assalamualaikum.







Comments

atiq Y. said…
anea...stress sgt kijo ke smpi muntah2..? hehe...pekaba skrg...?
M a Q said…
Surah Fussilat (41:30) "Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menegaskan keyakinannya dengan berkata: "Tuhan kami ialah Allah", kemudian mereka tetap teguh di atas jalan yang betul, akan turunlah malaikat kepada mereka dari semasa ke semasa (dengan memberi ilham): "Janganlah kamu bimbang (dari berlakunya kejadian yang tidak baik terhadap kamu) dan janganlah kamu berdukacita, dan terimalah berita gembira bahawa kamu akan beroleh syurga yang telah dijanjikan kepada kamu."

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